This Is Not A Diary (Part One)
by Pixielullaby
Summary: It's probably not the best idea to read Jade's book.. Jade centric. Jori.


This is based over the first season.

Disclaimer: Not a bit of it.

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Entry 1.

First. This is not a Diary.

Anyone besides me reading this should know it is not a diary, I would not have a diary even if I were Anne Frank.

Second. If you're not me, this is _my_ book.

Therefore, if you're reading _my_ book and are not me, I suggest you stop reading this because if I find out you were reading my book, I'll stab your eyes out with my dull scissors, and I highly doubt that will be fun for you.

Third. This whole thing is stupid anyways and this book is a waste of time.

The pages stick together in some places and I hate that.

-Jade

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Entry 5. (Pilot)

Beck really needs to calm down and stop talking about his trip to Canada. I don't care that he saw a moose.

He needs to buy more mousse and stop talking about Canada.

I hate Canada.

Andre's freaking out about the showcase, which is getting annoying.

He says Trina Vega will be singing, so I'm just not going to go, hopefully I won't be able to hear her dying whale noises from my house.

I hate Trina.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 7. (Pilot)

No. Just no.

That other VEGA thinks she can just sing a song and get what she wants?

She can't act, she probably can't sing any better than her sister, and those cheekbones are probably fake.

Beck needs to get his attention on something other than her or I'll castrate him with a rusty pair of scissors.

What's so great about her anyways?

She's too tan and barely pretty.

Her only good quality is when she's drenched in coffee.

I _hate_ Vega's.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 8. (Pilot)

 _I'M ABOUT TO COMMIT MURDER_.

Beck thinks he's so sly, kissing the new girl.

"It's just acting, Jade. She kissed me" _BULLSHIT MR. HANDS ALL OVER VEGA LIKE NOBODY'S WATCHING_.

I'm going to kill him if he looks at her one more time.

I fucking hate her.

I hate everything about her.

Her eyes, smile, hair, cheekbones, teeth.

 _FUCK YOU VEGA_!

I _HATE_ HER!

-Jade

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Entry 11. (The Bird Scene)

Vega is a moron.

Any two-cent actress can pass The Bird Scene.

I passed my scene before I even did it.

At least she knows that she's a horrible actress.

I still hate her.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 12. (The Bird Scene)

Her scene was shit.

Her locker is shit.

 _She_ is shit.

I hate her.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 17. (Stage Fighting)

YES!

 _HELL_ YES! I GET TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF VEGA _ALL WEEK!_

This fight scene is perfect.

Every time we practice, she flinches.

She's afraid of everything for fuck sake.

I hate her, but this is going to be so much fun.

Especially when she gets in trouble.

-Jade

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Entry 19. (Stage Fighting)

 _FUCK ANDRE IN HIS SNITCHING FACE_!

I hate narks!

I hate Tori for spilling water on me!

Can't she do anything right?

 _FUCK HER_!

I HATE HER!

Miss " _I'm so perfect that I'm going to clean the black box anyways_."

I'll show her how to be the better person.

I hate her.

-Jade

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Entry 24. (The Birthweek Song)

I _hate_ Vega.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 30. (The Birthweek Song)

I made Vega drink garbage coffee today.

Possibly the best day of my life so far.

I hate her.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 38. (Jade Dumps Beck)

FUCK BECK! _FUCK_ _ALYSSA VAUGHN_!

I HATE HER!

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!

He says he doesn't want me back.

 _HOW_?

I'm the only girl around that's worth anything, everyone else just drools all over him and does whatever he says.

Real woman have substance.

I don't need him.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 40. (Jade Dumps Beck)

Vega's been nice the past few days and I've been nothing but shit to her.

She offered to help me with Beck.

 _Why_ is she so perfect all the time?

I hate her.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 41. (Jade Dumps Beck)

Beck and I got back together but kissing him is weird now. I don't know why, but it's pissing me off.

I keep looking at Vega's number in my phone. She keeps texting me to see if I'm okay.

I hate that.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 54. (Tori the Zombie)

 _HOW CAN YOU BE THE LEAD IN THE PLAY WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHO WROTE THE FUCKING THING_!

I HATE HER.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 55. (Tori the Zombie)

 _HOW DID SHE GET A PERFECT REVIEW WITH A FUCKED UP FACE_?

I FUCKING HATE HER.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 62. (Robarazzi)

I'll fucking kill Robbie if it's the last thing I do.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 70. (Survival of the Hottest)

Vega kept looking at me after I said I don't sweat.

I have small pores and underactive sweat glands, it's a medical thing but it's gross so I just say I don't sweat.

She kept looking at me though, I don't know why but I think I liked it.

I hate that I liked it.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 73. (Survival of the Hottest)

Vega was definitely staring at me the whole time we were stuck in the RV.

She just kept zoning out.

Even on the ride there, she was sitting way too close to me on the couch.

She just keeps looking at me.

I hate that I don't want her to stop.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 78. (Wifi in the Sky)

Beck doesn't look at me the way Vega does.

The whole time they were video chatting she kept looking to the right of her screen.

I think she was looking at me.

She had that weird look on her face again and I liked it.

Beck was too busy with that puppy to notice but I didn't care.

I just want her to keep looking at me like that.

I hate video chat.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 87. (Beck's Big Break)

Why does Vega have to ruin things?

Granted, she got Beck's spot back in the movie, and took out a mega bitch in the process.

It doesn't mean she doesn't ruin things.

I hate her.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 96. (The Great Pingpong Scam)

Vega's an idiot.

She'll ruin everything if she finds out about the ping pong thing.

I hate her.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 98. (The Great Pingpong Scam)

Why am I so stupid?

Vega kept looking over to me while she and Andre were singing and I felt like flying until she frowned at me.

Why did she FROWN at me?

I wanted her to be singing to me and I don't know what's wrong with me.

I hate this feeling.

I hate her frowning at me!

-Jade

* * *

Entry 113. (Cat's New Boyfriend)

I hate that Vega keeps looking at HIM.

She's supposed to look at me.

Just me.

Not him.

HE needs to go away.

Stupid Daniel.

I hate him.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 115. (Cat's New Boyfriend)

Vega kissed that douche.

I hate him.

I fucking hate him.

I hate that he hurt Cat.

I hate that the thought of him kissing Vega makes me feel weird.

I hate them both.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 117. (Cat's New Boyfriend)

I hate Trina and her stupid fucking Fish.

I took a nap at the hospital so I could stop coughing and Vega was holding my hand when I woke up.

I pretend to be asleep as long as I could but the doctor came in with needles and I freaked out.

She held my hand while I they inject the antibiotics and I never wanted her to let go, I felt so fucking safe.

I hate this stuff so much.

What is she doing to me?

-Jade

* * *

Entry 126. (Freak the Freak Out)

These Karaoke bitches made me want to shove scissors in my ears.

Or maybe just down their throats.

Vega blew them out of the water.

I almost wanted to hug her.

I almost did hug her.

She held my hand for so long when we went to the mall after picking the boys up.

I pretended not to notice but when she let go and Beck grabbed my hand instead it felt wrong.

I feel like she's ruining everything.

I hate all of this.

I want it to stop.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 134. (Rex Dies)

It took me three hours to finish the paperwork for them to release Cat after Vega broke Rex, since her parents weren't going to fucking do it.

Lane had to come in to sign some counseling schedule or something for her.

Vega was actually there too, she said she wanted to help, but all she did was buy me a cup of coffee and entertain Cat on the ride home.

So, I guess she did help a little.

I fucking hate doctors.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 140. (The DiddlyBops)

After singing an annoying song and being a cheeseburger for two hours, I'm completely willing to go to prison if it means I can kill Sikowitz.

Cat had to announce to everyone that my boobs wouldn't fit in the suit and thank god no one else was in the room when Vega came to help me.

Her hands were pressed against my ribs for fucking ever trying to stretch the burger enough for it to fit.

I had to be blushing like hell but Vega probably just thought I was pissed about the suit not fitting, which I was.

I keep feeling her hands on my ribs everytime I move and I don't know why.

Everytime Beck looks at me or touches me it feels weird anymore.

Vega's so hands are so much softer and her eyes follow ME not just my boobs or my ass, though I think I've caught her looking.

There's something wrong with me, seriously.

I hate her for making this happen.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 150. (Wok Star)

Vega found the perfect place for my play, she did everything she promised to do.

Beck barely comes through on his promises to buy me coffee anymore.

He looks at her like he used to look at me and it hurts so fucking much.

I don't think it hurts when Beck looks at her as much as it hurts when she looks at Beck.

She doesn't look at him the way she looks at me, though

She doesn't look at anyone the way she looks at me, it's just for me.

I love HATE that look.

What the hell is happening to me?

Why am I falling apart?

-Jade

* * *

Entry 151. (Wok Star)

Vega saved my play, she saved everything.

I think my dad even likes her, he hates Beck.

When she hugged me I never wanted to let go.

I felt so fucking right in her arms, and all I wanted was to bury my face in her neck and let her hold me.

I've never felt like this and it's scaring the fucking hell out of me.

I feel like I'm breaking.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 160. (The Wood)

The call between Vega and Beck was so fake but I freaked out.

I wanted to hit him or kick him or something, I felt betrayed and not by him really.

I felt like I'd lied to myself about all of those looks Vega gave me.

I just wanted to hurt somebody.

I'm glad I didn't actually hurt her when we were fighting, though, and that bothers me.

I used to want to punch her but now I want to kiss her.

I can't breathe..

-Jade

* * *

Entry 168. (A film by Dale Squires)

Vega was a great director.

Dale Squires was an asshole.

She kept giving me that look when we were filming.

-Jade

* * *

Entry 177. (Sleepover at Sikowitz's)

Vega's eyes were stuck to me until I left Sikowitz's.

My hand fucking killed but I didn't go to the hospital, because I fucking hate doctors.

She found out that I never got my hand checked out after winning the stupid challenge, and she took me to the hospital after getting cleaned up.

She stayed with me the whole time and held the hand that wasn't burnt.

They put antibacterial stuff on it to clean it and it hurt so bad that I almost cried.

Vega crawled into the bed next to me and held me the rest of the time they spent fixing my hand.

Even after they left and the burns were bandaged and taken care of she held me.

She held me until the doctors brought the discharge papers and they took a lifetime but it felt so good to be in her arms that whole time.

Beck tried to hug me when I saw him after and I didn't let him, I could still smell Tori's perfume on my shirt and I didn't want him to ruin it.

I need to figure this stuff out.

-Jade

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 _ **A/N.**_ Sorry if the editing seems a little weird. My computer wasn't cooperating.

I post every Tuesday and Thursday so be sure to check the account for new stories and updates. Remember to review, good or bad, and PM me prompts, pairings, and suggestions. I read EVERYTHING and I love hearing your thoughts and ideas.


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